15 Weeks

104 weeks is two years. two years is a full time mission. 

my elder has just 15 weeks left.  

to perhaps make these last weeks pass that much faster I am doing a countdown (surprise).

i have a million of these "countdowns," i.e. 107 days, 3 more links on the chain, 15 letters, ect.

whatever will make the time pass more quickly.

for this countdown, each sunday i will post a reason i am waiting 15 more weeks. 

a reason i fell in love, a reason i am in love, a reason for marriage, a memory, whatever. 

just a reason that my elder is worth this wait.

Reason number ONE i am waiting 15 more weeks for this boy:

he's a crier. 

the weekend before school started (senior year to be exact) we spent every moment together.

we both unspokenly knew that the onset of school meant the onset of big changes that would affect us for the next two years. basically, we knew that me starting school again meant that he would be
 leaving soon.

but that last night before school he spent the day at my house with my family. when it was time for him to leave i walked him out to his jeep. he embraced me and we both just cried. 

we cried because things were beginning to change.

the changes came quickly after that. one night, as we were packing up his room i looked at him and started crying. then i told him of my worst fear:

"what if i forget? what if i forget what it feels like to be with you? what if i forget why i'm doing this?"

he cried too. obviously we shared that fear. we spent the rest of the night crying in his room, together.

he's cried with me many a times. and although i don't enjoy his sadness, i enjoy the
comfort of sharing tears. he has never been afraid to cry with me or hold me as i cried. 

that is, perhaps, one of the things i miss most about him. i have been crying since the day he left, and have missed his comforting arms and whispers. although the main reason for my tears will be obsolete when he returns, it will be so sweet to know i can be comforted by him in my sadness.