23 September 2012

6, 5, 4 weeks

Oh ya, remember that countdown I was going to do? you know, the 15 reasons I am waiting 15 more weeks? Well, I pretty much have given up on blogging, until tonight. So instead of doing my silly countdown I am just going to let it out.

 I'm pretty much scared out of my mind.

30 days left, and I am so happy to see him again. However, in the back of my head is that little negativity that asks, "what if it doesn't work out. What if you spent two years of your life waiting for a boy who won't like you anymore?" What if?

The thought completely torments me, but is a valid fear. This is why other girls date and don't "put all their eggs in one basket." This is why people don't wait. I can't even remember what his voice sounds like or how much taller than me he is in person, and yet, I'm planning on marring him in the spring. I haven't been on a date since last september, and it was an awful date at that. I don't remember how to kiss or even "go on a date." All I remember is "waiting for a missionary. for cameron." I'm scared to have to relearn everything.

Now, let's be honest....It's going to take work. I think we both understand that. We are going to have to re-date one another and get to know each other again. Two years is a long time, and a lot has happened these past two years in both of our lives. I believe however, through all this doubt and fear and all the hard work that it is going to take, that we are going to make it. We are going to get engaged, get married, and start our life together. It's not going to be easy, but it will be worth it.

I signed up for this. I knew what I was getting into and I promised to wait. I have been so blessed by this choice and am so proud of my missionary. It has been a long road and I'm sure the next 30 days will be no exception. But we are going to do this. We are going to be that 1% and I can't wait.

I love you babes and although I am so scared of our next steps, I can't wait to take them with you.
Seen you soon.

2 comments:

  1. SO excited for you!:) I can't believe the end is nearly here for you two!
    The other night I had dinner with my best friend and her husband, and her husbands best friend served in the same mission as Sam and Cameron, so he came over too to say hello, and out of no where he brought up Cameron, and I was like, WOAH! Totally know who you are talking about, haha!:D He couldn't stop talking about the amazing missionary Cameron was, AND the dedicated missionary he had waiting for him back home:)
    And...p.s...can the Sam and Cam Chronicles continue even after the mishy mish?! Haha!:D

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  2. I'm a new follower and my boyfriend and I had a situation similar to this where we were apart for close to two years so I can definitely relate in my own way to these feelings! Your positivity about it all is definitely inspiring!
    Best of luck!
    -Amanda
    fromaheartoverflowing.blogspot.com

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