10 weeks - a little on the personal side

only 10 more weeks. 10. I'm not sure what to do with myself at this point...and I know that feeling of nervousness and excitement will only increase.

this week's reason I am waiting 15 more weeks is because of his dedication to me and to us. In July, two years ago, cameron took me on the most special date I have ever been on. We went up to the canyon and had a fire. I guess that seems like a pretty standard date....but half way through our fire cameron wrapped his arms around me and told me the sweetest things I've ever heard...then he promised me that if I wait for him, he will take me to the temple and marry me forever. Then he pulled out the prettiest ring and slipped it on my finger. After that...I was officially waiting for my cameron.

There has been lots of different parts of my waiting experience. Right after cameron left, (from october 2010 up until march 2011) I was in a sorts of depression. Not really depression, just true sadness because I had lost my best friend and the idea of two years scared me to pieces. I stayed home a lot and cried even more. It was very rough. That summer was better. I was more myself, and more comfortable with the idea of being 'alone' for two years and waiting. The fall brought a new school and a new chapter in my life...with lots of new emotions. My friends all moved away for school and I stayed home, to commute to my lovely school and (in all honesty) save money and prepare to be married. I bought a car and got (what I call) a grown up job. It was a plan that I was completely happy with until it began. When my friends moved away and left me, I began to feel resentment towards cameron and myself. Not that he had ever ever ever told me to stay home and wait, but because I had made decisions for 'us' and 'us' wasn't real, so to speak. That was probably the hardest time for me. I moved my ring to my thumb finger and began to be complacent about cameron and about our relationship. Not because I didn't love him, but because it is beyond words hard to love someone you never see or talk to. It is so very hard.

Our christmas conversation was great, but not magical. And I started to think seriously that cameron and I weren't going to last. We had made it a year and had a good run...but regardless of my doubts, I kept my ring on and continued to pray for us. From January to April I lost 40 pounds, and with it, all doubt I had about us and about my life. I know that may seem corny, but it's not. It truly made my life so much happier and my relationship with cameron so much happier. I was more proud of who I was and who I was to him. I was proud to have him tell me I'm beautiful or attractive, because, for the first time in our entire relationship, I believed it. It's not something easy to understand, and if you've never been overweight you don't know what a major impact it has on such basic aspects of your life. The change of mind I gained when I lost the weight this spring gave me the courage to re-acess my relationship and goals with cameron. After much praying and pondering I realized what I already knew. Cameron is the best man I know, and I love him deeply. I want nothing more than to be sealed to him and raise a family together. In a sense, I fell in love with him all over again. He is my best friend and although I had forgotten there for a while, I know I am blessed to have this opportunity to wait for him. My reward, in october, will make all the sadness and insecurity seem silly.

Now, my reason for still waiting...although for some months I had forgotten, cameron never did. And his commitment to me never wavered. He has sent me at least one letter and two emails every week since he left. Most weeks I get two letters. One on wednesday and one on friday and email on monday. He has always told me that he wants the time I go without hearing him tell me he loves me to be short, so he plans the days to send his letters accordingly.

Cameron has always been ideal and understanding, through all this. And although it took some self discovery and change on my part I know that we are both where we are supposed to be. This was the right choice for me and I am humbled at how blessed I am to be given the opportunity to wait for such a valiant man.

Say

You know that great song, Say? The one that goes "say what you need to say?"

Well, here's what I need to say:

- UTA buses really need to look before they just pull out. Honestly, I almost died on the way to work.
- I like to stay up late, but hate getting up early and really hate that I repeat my bad habit every night
- Obamacare. I'm not even going to talk about this right now. I'll visit my political blog this weekend and really let my feelings known. As for now, I'm pissed. Seriously pissed off.
- Day one. Job one. Repeal. (okay...I'll stop).
- Menchies will never get old. Neither will the melted peanut butter.
- I haven't run since saturday, and oddly, I'm okay with that.
- I miss cameron. It's been a stressful few weeks and I just want someone to cuddle with and some one to tell me it'll all be okay.
- At the same time, I am getting really scared about his return. What if? That's all I can think about.....
- I hate obama (I had to do that one).
- Our house went up for sale today. Signs and everything. I guess this is real.
- Instagram is the best. That and pinterest.
- I don't get fireworks. At all. Colorado, Arizona, and Utah are literally burning down and idiot people still want to buy a bunch of fireworks? Are you seriously. Props to you Herbie, for outlawing fireworks outside of our cities. We can't afford to let our state burn down.
- 117 days
- 131 days
- October 20 - SOJO half marathon
- November 9-10 - Vegas Ragnar
- I'm kind of craving a twitter...just to follow political figures and fox news contributors. Is that completely lame?
- I really need to wash my car. Really.
- Speaking of cars...I've almost had mine for a whole year. 12 payments. Best thing I ever bought. I am so proud of that purchase and how hard I work each day to make my payments. That, right there, is my piece of adulthood.
- I am the worst nail painter...ever
- Mona on saturday? Can you say road trip?!
- Olympics.......
- Just one more.....In order to repeal Obama care we have to get rid of Obama. Sounds good to me.

How Ironic!

Remember this?

Well, just to clarify, before I continue: I am a rebuplican and disagree with just about everything occupy stood for. So this isn't a "bash wall street post" quite the opposite, actually.

I have found the solution to the hipster "I hate corporations" ideaogoy. These protesters were upset that there are people in America who have "done better" than them (because money is all that matters in life, right? ha) so they protested on wall street - the money capital of the world, in many senses.

Maybe, however, instead of bringing down the rich, they should work to join them.

I found this article today and seriously laughed out loud. 

Stocks for hipsters - what an oxymoron. And yet, perhaps it isn't so crazy that they shoud invest in the products that they (the hipsters) consume the more than any other group.

Oh the irony.

PS. these pictures were from bing, I do not own any of them.

I'm Going to Get Political Up in Here

 Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;
                                 

-The Constitution of the United States of America - The 1st Amendment

Tell me that the mandate within Obama Care forcing Catholics to go against their core values and provide abortions in their charitable hospitals does not go against "the free exercise thereof." Just try.

The government has no place telling a religious organization they must provide abortions.

I hate our president. 

Things From Today: January 10, TWO THOUSAND TWELVE!

I absolutely love that it is 2012. I don't feel like this needs any explanation, but I've been waiting fourteen months to say "he comes home THIS year." And he does.

But that's all off topic.

Today was my first day of school for the spring semester. AND it was great! Really great actually.

Perhaps one of the best things about my new schedule is that I start class at 8:30 and finish by 2:15...Which means I'm home by 3, instead of 8:30 like last semester! It's so nice to still have the afternoon to do homework or be lazy (more often the latter). It feels like a normal school day again and I love it. As great as it was to start class at 11:30, it just was not practical for me or my schedule. Guess it takes a semester to learn the tricks.

My classes are really great as well. I have extra credit opportunities in all but one and (seemingly) great professors. My international relations political science class is full of poly sci majors and true debaters. My kind of people. It is going to be a great class. My professor is from some Asian country (I couldn't understand where he said he was from...but I got that he was Asian. Hopefully I'll be able to understand him better soon!) and worked for the US government in D.C. He's legit. I am so excited. Surprisingly, the other class I am stoked about is Ethics and Values...a required philosophy class. How did I know it would be a great class? Before we started my professor turned on Fox news. (Secretly informing us that he is a conservative. A nice change in an overly liberal college atmosphere.) Then we learned that we would be required to watch 1 1/2 hours of commentary each week. (Hello meet the press and Bill O'Reily) Then he made fun of the ridiculous occupy wall street movement and participants. He is my kind of guy. I can't wait for class discussions and our projects. I am so excited for his class.

Call me a nerd...but school was great today and I have a great feeling that this will be a fantastic semester.