07 February 2012

Because Some Days are Still Hard

I have a major case of IBS right now.

For those of you who don't know, IBS is a term used by MG's (missionary girlfriends) that stands for Imaginary Boyfriend Syndrome. Laugh all you want, but I promise you this is a real feeling and really sucks. Throughout waiting there are ups and downs...anyone could guess that. But IBS is worse. I can't describe it, but I'm so sad and so angry. I bawled this afternoon. I needed to. I write to this boy each week and get letters from him, but I don't remember what his hugs feel like. I don't remember how it feels to have him look me in the eyes. I don't even remember how it feels to talk to him face to face. I am so jealous that I have no one to take me on dates and tell me I look pretty. I have no one to text me in the morning and remind me that things will get better. That "no one" is across the country and can't even know that I am so sad, because he needs to focus. 16 months in...you think I'd be fine, but some days are still hard.
Yes, I am being whiny and pathetic today. But it's that kind of day.

1 comment:

  1. Oh Kayla, I'm so sorry. He will be back before you know it. As soon as you see him, all those memories will come flushing back and it will be as if he never left. If you ever need to talk call me, I know I don't have a whole lot of experience with this stuff, but I am a great listener. Love you!

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