18 September 2011

My Wardie Date

SO...Last night I went on a date with a good friend of mine from my ward. Yes, a wardie. He was the boy that took me on my very very first date back when I turned 16. We recently kind of became friends again (sort of) after being out of touch for a couple years. He asked me on a date last week after my interesting day at church with him and I agreed. I was super nervous because in all honesty when I was 16 I liked this boy. A lot. I had the biggest crush on him right from the first time I talked to him at mutal. But feelings were not shared and time passed on. I was nervous about my date last night because I didn't know how I still felt about this boy. I didn't know if the feelings I had for him back a few years ago were still prevalent. I still thought he was attractive, but did I like him? This worried me. I was worried I was putting myself in a situation that would not be good for me and cameron. The week leading up to our date I couldn't help but feel guilty because I knew how I had once felt about this boy. But I ended up going anyways and it was the best decision I could have made. My date was fun. We went to cafe rio for dinner. We went and walked on the jordan parkway and talked and talked. We went to get frozen yogurt and my date even sang in the car. By all measures it was a good date. But it was nothing compared to dates with cameron, and that's what was so good. My memories of my first date with my wardie were that is was spectacular. I just thought it was the greatest date ever and that I was so in love with this boy. I thought we was just the greatest thing in the world...Now, not as much. I have good memories, but I think I have a better perspective of things in my life. I have goals and plans and expectations. Things that this man does have, but also things that he does not have. I have a list to stay true to for marriage and my wardie differs from what I want. No, I was not planning on marring mr. wardie by any means, but now I realize just how important those goals for my husband and my life are.
 Sorry this has been A LOT of rambling...but I feel like I've just been awakened in ways. I am so glad I went on that date because I feel in love with cameron more. The way he treats me and talks to me and the feelings he has for me are special. I am so blessed to have such an amazing man in my life who has dedicated his life to God. That is the kind of man I want to marry and the one I will :) I guess it's good for me to go on dates because it makes me realize just how happy I am with cameron. AND...tomorrow is his birthday :)
Happy Sunday!

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